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Tamar Balkin

Establishing connections to check on people's well-being R U OK

"You just call out my name


And you know, wherever I am


I'll come runnin', runnin', yeah, yeah


To see you again


Winter, spring, summer or fall


All you have to do is call


And I'll be there, yes, I will


You've got a friend


You've got a friend"


You’ve Got a Friend by Carole King (Click here  for the song)




 

Regular readers would know that the goal of R U OK Day is to encourage meaningful conversations about mental health and emotional well-being. 

 

 

Click here for tips on how to ask R U Ok, any day.


 

Establishing the foundation for meaningful conversations:


Research shows that 72% of people feel better about themselves and their situation after talking to someone about their concerns. 


 

 

“It’s important to make others feel seen, heard, and understood.”

Mikayla Balk

 


 

 While proximity and opportunities for contact can create the conditions for friendship, they do not guarantee that two people will become close. Researchers found that adults in one study reported spending hundreds of hours with colleagues yet still considered them acquaintances.


A common scenario might involve two casual friends meeting and one asking, “What’s new in your life?” This question is significant because it shows a desire to bring that person’s experiences into the relationship’s present. In contrast, workplace interactions don't necessarily invite connection, particularly when they often simply involve a brief “hello”  or nod. 


The nature of daily conversations—such as catching up, checking in, sharing jokes, and engaging in meaningful dialogue—plays a crucial role. Although intimate conversations have traditionally been linked to deeper friendship researchers have found that keeping up with friends’ lives through casual interactions can strengthen closeness more than simply spending time together. 


Connecting with others is one of the most fulfilling parts of humanity. However, struggling with connection isn’t at all uncommon. It can be hard to know what to say to build intimacy and trust. Fortunately, deep conversation starters, like thought-provoking open-ended questions can strengthen your interpersonal relationships.  With coworkers, it’s best to keep the conversation engaging while maintaining professional boundaries. Personal questions can be too intrusive depending on the workplace environment. Some work cultures consist of openly sharing details, while others are more reserved. 


These are some effective ways to practice good communication during your heartfelt discussions:

  • Engage in active listening: Active listening shows the speaker that you value what they’re saying

  • Pay attention to body language: Convey openness and intrigue by maintaining eye contact and keeping your shoulders relaxed 

  • Know if you’re oversharing: While sharing personal stories is great, it’s best to avoid moments where you reveal too much information (TMI) 

  • Open up: Don’t let fear of judgment stop you from finding true connection 

  • Don’t dominate conversations: Give others adequate opportunity to speak and be an active listener

  • Show empathy: When others are talking about a difficult topic, be sensitive with your responses


 


  "If you notice a change in someone don’t brush it aside or avoid the conversation because you aren’t sure what to say. Reaching out early can stop small things from becoming bigger issues,"


Ms Clements. 

 

 

 Your responsibilities:


Encourage others to seek professional help. 


Notice your emotional state, and seek professional help.  


 

Due to the interconnection between the body and the mind, your General practitioner should be involved in coordinating your care.

 


 

Australian sources of help

  • Mental health crisis team- 1800 011 511 (24 hours)

  • Doctor

  • Clinical psychologist 

  • 000


The role of the clinical psychologist is to help people who are languishing move to flourishing.


 

Other useful resources:  


R U OK websitehttps://www.ruok.org.au/ 

Health Direct A government-funded service, providing quality, approved health information and advice: https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/mental-health-resourcesAustralian Psychological Society: What is a psychologist and how do they help:   https://psychology.org.au/psychology/about-psychology/what-is-psychology-


Areas of practice for Clinical psychologists  https://psychology.org.au/for-the-public/psychology-topics


 

Some past R U OK Day blogs: 

 

 


 References:


Available on request. 

 

 

 

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