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Tamar Balkin

How Do I Gain A Sense Of Control For Myself And My Team?


Photo by Rohan Makhecha on Unsplash



"No one's far from anyone anymore"


OTC Australia 1988 TV Commercial dialling overseas from Australia

(click here for the commercial https://youtu.be/orySdjb95_M)



I have a client who has been working in overseas to help grow an newly established organisation. He is highly passionate about what they do and was settling into life in a new country.  His long term  career goals are realistic and ambitious, and he has a strong realistic sense of achievement. However, there are aspects of his boss’s leadership style that are left wanting.   When I caught up with him last week, just before he was returning home to Sydney to work remotely, he said to me “Tamar how long do I have to put up with this hopeless behaviour from my boss? There’s only so much managing up I can do”. Whenever there is change, be it within our business unit, our organisation, or our economy we feel a loss of control.   Good emotional regulation, enables you to have a clear head identify what is  within your sphere of influence, then you can think creatively about many options  and to make sensible decisions. So before you read on I encourage you to: 

  1. Write down your emotions (see my previous blog for the best method) 

  2. Choose a quick relaxation technique to ensure you feel centred (see my resources page for tips)

Now it’s time to brainstorm alone and then with your team what you can and can not control. So what about my client, who by the way is in the middle of his 14 day home quarantine in Sydney, with a few of his  siblings who have also been working overseas. Some of the things he recognised he can’t control the following about her boss:

  • Her  poor communication skills

  • Her view of  work as a career, not a calling

  • When she replies to her emails

  • When she writes the strategic plan for 2020

  • Her acceptance of the current state of the world

Here are some of the things cleint recognised he can control  about his life and work:

  • His impeccable manners (see my blog on manners for tips)

  • His relationships with key external stakeholders

  • The morale and connectivity of his volunteers

  • His passion for her work

  • His long term career goals and how he is working towards them

  • His relationship with the CEO.

  • His wellbeing

  • Reconnecting with his local professional and personal connections

  • His daily and weekly focus (see my blog on productivity for tips)

  • His daily routine

  • His boundaries between work and life (see my blog on boundaries for tips)


Remember that there are always many aspects of life and work that we can all control. Varied social contact is a key element of wellbeing and so I want to remind you all that we have complete control of our ability to pick up the phone call or FaceTime someone.  Finally, if you need a little laugh, or some prompting, click the links and enjoy these fun Australian commercials from the 1980s encouraging us to call overseas. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orySdjb95_M https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ju4c6iAnQNs Irrespective of the changes that may happen to the way we all work over the coming months, leadership capability and wellbeing remains critical therefore  I shall continue to blog on relevant topics.  Please do not hesitate to email  suggestions and requests. 



References:  available on request


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